Dear Rachael Ray,

My dearest Rachael Ray,

Remember that one time my mom introduced me to your magazine and got me interested in you? I do. I know that was a long time ago but your recipes have treated me well. Remember those hours we spent together after I got my wisdom teeth pulled out? We spent days together. You made beautiful food while I sang songs about my medication. Good times.

Yes, you served me well. Like that time I made the giant cupcake and I made it wrong and it just turned out weird and I could hear you laughing your laugh from afar. You may have noticed the lack of attention I’ve been giving you recently. Let me explain. I am now in college, and I am growing into an adult. Yes! I said it! I am becoming an adult! Please try to understand. I now live in an apartment with new friends, new adventures, and new responsibilities.

I know this will be hard for you, it will be hard for me too. This new lifestyle just has me in a time crunch. Watching you gush over your pooch makes me miss the cute, fuzzy friends I left behind. I’m sorry… This relationship was doomed from the beginning  and I know you know it.  My roommates and I are hard-working full-time college students. We don’t have time to make your oh so yummy meals, even if they are half an hour. We do not have the gazillion spices and seasons you require, nor do we have room or the hundreds of dollars.
However… my mind can still be changed. I would not be opposed, and I’m sure my roommates agree with me, to you coming into my humble kitchen and making college appropriate meals. After cleaning checks of course.

It’s up to you now. Love, Aubz